Done. Now What?

Two weeks have flown by in the blink of an eye since I’ve passed my last exam and with it marking the end of my medical education.


I am done. But now what?


As one reads the posts on the websites I’ve talked beforehand he/she comes to the stark realization that the work, truly, never is done. This can be either a blessing or a curse which depends on ones perception (which one can freely alter if he/she desires to do so).


I was always frustrated with this fact.


This is because I viewed life as a set of goals instead of processes. Goals mean having an end that you either reach or do not reach to a satisfactory degree that can present a frustration on its own but even if you DO reach that mythical objective one is the faced with the simple reality that the World is still happily spinning around its axis not giving two worth’s of chickenshit damns about you or your goals.


Is this maybe why even the superstar athletes face unique challenges of their own when they seemingly achieve every possible thing a mortal made of flesh and blood would want and desire?


Considering with what is happening with Tiger Woods right now this seems to be the case.


It’s a frightening realization really: how small we are and how fragile.


Which is why it is of the utmost importance that we give our life meaning and purpose, again and again, day after day, anew and anew.


Life is not meant to give US purpose. We are meant to give LIFE purpose? How? Now if that isn’t a question of the ages, right?


Honestly, I’d like to be your guru and sell you a correspondence course for the mere price of 199$ if you order today but I simply do not know. I only know how little I know and even after devoting myself to a certain craft I still find myself doubting sometimes if I’ve made the right decisions in my life.


Do you do too?


When I talk to people or patients in public it seems that everyone, except me, is steadfast and happy on the road he’s currently walking on. And yet… when the curtains close and a more intimate environment is formed I hear so many doubts, from people much more accomplished than I.


It reminds of me of the old saying that everyone has his own Cross to carry. The trick is not to be buried beneath its weight. But you’ll always be carrying that Cross.

The Work will never be done. Your suffering will never end, until you die. And then you’ll either ascend to Heaven (or fall into Hell), Reincarnate or simply cease to exist, depending on your beliefs.


Maybe this belief of ours – that we must attain some sort of never-ending plateau of happiness during our mortal lives causes so much anxiety. Because Life itself doesn’t function that way.


Life is like a Woman who loves to test you and create drama. Like it or not – that is reality. If you are currently experiencing no problems than believe me they’ll come – sooner rather than later which is why it is imperative to make a simple Mindset Shift (like those found in Gorilla Mindset) not to avoid problems and be afraid of them but to rather seek challenges out and welcome them as a way to grow – bodily, emotionally, spiritually.




With what? Your project? Sure.


But what about your next project?


Because you are never done.


The Road does not end. Even when your time is up.


The Road will stay there – until infinities end.


How far are you willing to travel?


Which wonders of our beautiful World are you hungry enough to see?


Me personally?


Why not stick around and find out?

The War for Attention

The World has become a confusing place. Technology was meant to make our lives easier and yet it seems like it has made it more complicated. There is a War going on – The War for Attention.


And Humankind is losing it. Badly. Willingly.


We are constantly being bombarded with visual and auditory signals from all manner of electronic devices either passively or actively: huge billboards, televisions, computers, laptops and the all mighty Phone.


Thousands of distractions are constantly sapping our Mental Energy until there is none left and we realize, to our horror, that the day has ended without the work being done.


People’s lives have become a mess; MY life was a mess – a jumbled black ooze where I tried to finish my projects at home whilst duties which should have been done at home were trying to be squeezed between working hours.


How did it come to this?


Because I constantly caught myself staring at stupid, vapid, shallow pictures on my Phone instead of doing the task set before me.


My priorities were not set straight.


Instead of focusing my Mental Energy into a devastating laser which mows down anything and everything on my path it was scattered to such an extent that it barely allowed me to survive on a day to day basis.


Time and Focus are Man’s greatest gifts which we have forgotten to use.




Is technology truly to blame?


I disagree.


Technology is but a tool. Turn off and lay down your phone on a table and it will not turn on by itself (or it will, who knows). It will rest there, without moving an inch until Father Time decides to turn it to dust from what it was made.


All of technology is a Manmade tool – from computers, PDA’s, televisions and etc. and it is up to us, and only us, who determine if it will be used for either good or bad.


Shall it be for the betterment of our lives or to our detriment?


It is a choice each and every one has to make.


It is a choice you have to make and make it right now.


Yes, you have read that correctly.


Right now.




For it will do you no good to procrastinate in making a decision.




Because I already know what kind decision you had decided to make before you’ve even done it.




Because you are reading my site and those who are reading my site are such who’ve decided to implement Tonny Robbins famous CANI principle – Constant and Never-ending Improvement.


Which I’ve decided to switch around a bit to make it catchier.


Instead of CANI we say: I, CAN!


Improvement Constant and Never-ending!


This is our motto.


This is the motto which will help us win this war waged upon us from thousands of murky entities who do not wish us to think and act for ourselves.


Is technology to blame for the conundrum of the people today?




Are you?




To what extent can I blame you when these stimuli are forced upon you day after day without you giving them your permission?


But now that we’ve become sentient of the situation we are in I can blame you to the fullest extent if you will not, to the best of your abilities, wage your own Battle within this War for Attention and reclaim your territory.


For this is your territory.


Your most precious territory.


For what you pay attention to defines you.


For what you pay attention influences what you think.


And what you think about defines you.


Attention is influence as Mike Cernovich says.


Will you pay attention to the graces within our beautiful world?


Or to its most horrid of vices?


The choice is yours.


But I believe in you, dear reader, that you will make the right choice, which necessary might not have been the one I would make – but shall allow you to attain peace of spirit on a battlefield within a War that will never cease to wage.


The World is against you, dear Reader.


The World is against us, dear Reader.

But with our strengths combined… what can the World truly do?

A Man Needs Danger and Play

A Man needs many things life but if two are to stand out those are Danger and Play.


Dear readers, it has been a long time since you’ve last heard of me.


My schedule has been, to put it mildly, Hell.


Being an intern within the healthcare industry and also studying for multiple brutal exams at the same time drained all of my energy. Besides that I also did not neglect my gym schedule or my reading list.


I will have to make a confession and say that there were numerous times when I’ve wanted to give up.


I’d be up at 5 AM to make it to the Gym quick enough in order to get the workout in because I knew that when I came home from work that I would not have neither the energy or motivation to do it then.


I’d come home, kiss my girlfriend, make a homemade smoothie and run to the library to study. Between study breaks I would read books from Scott Adams’s Persuasion Reading list (which I heartily recommend everyone to do, if you wish to gain a better understanding about the World around you (I am currently reading The Secret of Selling Anything by Harry Browne)) and do posture exercises which are phenomenally described by Mike Cernovich and in Presence by Amy Cuddy.


At about 10.30 PM I’d call it a day, go home, prepare everything for the next day and rinse and repeat.


Let me be frank with you – I thought I was slowly going mad.


My mind was stretched to its utmost limits already and besides that I was also working on a project which I’ll present you now here. It was a project of love and hate at the same for would I have not been doing Gorilla Mindset exercises it would never have seen the light of day.


But this is what separates the winners from the losers.


The determination to get pulverized into dust and forcing yourself, by sheer Goddamned will, back together in order to have another bout with Life.


Because this is what Living means: either you impose your will upon Life or Life will impose its will on you. There is no discussion to be had – you, me, each and every one of us is in the Ring.


Will you fight? Or get beaten into a bloody pulp? The choice is yours.


It’s dangerous to choose but once you get a taste of blood, the adrenaline rush of fighting for dear survival… getting beaten, avoiding a fatal attack in the last moment, win a round – it becomes an addiction.


Yes, the dangerous becomes like a game which is fun to play.


A Man Needs Danger and Play.

Danger and Play.


I’d like to thank all of you who are currently reading this.


As a token of my thanks I’d like to present you with a gift.


I’ve compiled all of Michael ‘Mike’ Cernovich’s work from 2016 into a PDF document for you to read within your leisure time.


It took me 3 months, from the beginning of December to the end of February to collect everything, proofread it to the best of my abilities and polish it to a mirror shine.



To date this has been my biggest project I’ve ever undertaken, but not my last. I assure you.


This is a work of a student. Yes, I consider myself a student of Mike’s ways. I do not always agree with everything what my teacher (who probably does not even know of my existence ha-ha) says but I consider this to be a good thing.


Friction causes new ideas to be spawned.


But even so I respect Mike deeply and will, to the end of my days, credit him for being one of the saviors during my darkest of days. Yes, I do believe that without him I would not be breathing today.


Gorilla Mindset does indeed have such power.


And such power is before you right now.


This document contains all of Mike’s posts from 2016, every single one of them which is not a simple RSVP for an event.


Over 400 articles.

Over 220.000 words.

Over 1.000.000 letters of Raw Masculine Wisdom.




With intact Hyperlinks to view images if you are connected to the internet.


Available at your fingertips.


One might inquire as to ‘Why would you do this?’ and it’s a good question, because believe me, when everything went wrong (and it did, numerous times) I asked myself constantly:


‘Why the Hell are you doing this?’


I felt being trapped in a corner with nowhere to go, my mind like it was licking cold metal for how fatigued it felt, my muscles cramping all over so that I needed to stand up every 15 minutes to do a Power Pose.


I was hungry but could not force myself to open the fridge and get a bite to eat, thirsty but not motivated enough to get a glass of water.


My relationships strained because I’ve yet to learn how to handle such pressures more efficiently.


‘Why, why, why, why, why am I doing this?’

‘Because I have to, that is why.’

‘Because I want to, that is why.’

‘I want to gather everything what Mike wrote in order to learn and apply what I’ve learned to him.’

‘And I wish to give others the same chance. I wish to give them a chance to make the most important choice they will ever make in their lives.’

‘The choice to make their lives better – starting today.’


Because what lays before you is not a simple file. It is a promise and a guarantee I am willing to make – here and now.


If you will read and apply what you’ve read you will have a better understanding of the World, better Health, sharper Looks, improved Finances, improved Relationships and what is most important…


A Mindset which you will use in order to reach goals before thought impossible.


Dear Reader!


Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule in order to read MAGA – Mindset, Lifestyle and Politics 2016!


I’m about to enter another round with Life in Hell.


It will take a while and I’ll come back battered and with bruises.


But underneath the swollen meat you’ll see my smile.


Bloodied but determined.


Because this is the Danger and Play way.


Dear Reader!


I wish you all the best in your future endeavors!


Until then!


Yours truly,




Danger and Play (MAGA – Mindset, Lifestyle and Politics) – 2016

New Year, Old Me, Better Me

The holidays are behind us, New Years Eve toasts have been made, cities have been smashed in drunken rage and now it’s time to dive into the New Year!


I hope your holidays have been great in which you’ve enjoyed some quality and peaceful time with your family.


Family is important.


It’s where it all begins and where it will all end.


But I’ll share my thoughts on the importance of family in a later post.


In this one we’ll talk about a yearly phenomenon called ‘New Year, New Me’.


Every time when the Earth slowly approaches the end of its yearly cycle millions of people proclaim that within the new one they shall change – for the better, of course: they will lose weight, get their finances in order, nurture better relationships with their friends, lovers and family, complete that big project they’ve been putting on the sidelines, read more books…


Only they do not.

They do none of these things.

And even if they start they quickly give up.


And the Earth makes its cycle again and the people make their proclamations again.

And again.

And again.

And again.


What is Einstein’s definition of insanity?



But are these people truly insane?


And to be more candid – have I been insane when I was trying to do the same thing for many years before?




We are but simple mortals, with all of our faults and graces, with our goals and dreams which are laudable and human.


But some achieve them and others do not and herein lays the key. This is where the focal question must arise from.


What is the difference between the people who are able to complete their goals and make the change compared to others who do not?


People wish to change immediately and completely instead of steady and partially.


Quoting Cicero from his timeless tome On Duties, which was masterfully translated by Quintus Curtius of Fortress of the Mind:


‘Therefore, he who has constructed his life’s plan according to his own vice-free nature, as he ought to do, should hold firmly to this course, unless perhaps he realizes that he has erred in selecting the path he took.


If this happens (and it sometimes does), a change in one’s life course must be made. If external circumstances help this change we will do with more ease and convenience.


If external circumstances do not help along such a change, then we must do it in a step-by-step gradual manner, in the same way that (as wise men tell us) a friendship which no longer pleases us or serves any purpose should be dissolved slowly, rather than terminated suddenly’


You’ve stepped into the new stage of your life as your old self which has always had, has and will have the ability to become one brick better of a Man/Woman than he/she was yesterday.


Ask yourself, honestly and deeply the one thing you must improve on yourself and start taking immediate steps towards achieving that objective.


Is it your weight?

Do you have to prop up your finances?

Have you neglected your family? Your friends?


I am not here to judge nor condemn because I am in no position to do so for I myself have numerous weaknesses which must be mended.


And they will be.


I need to start saving in a low cost index fund or, if that is not available to me, invest into ETF’s via a brokerage whilst incurring minimal fees.

I need to better organize and use my time.

Due to the volume of work I’ve grossly neglected my friends and some of my family.

I need to be consistent with my juicing efforts with the help of Mike Cernovich’s Fit Juice.

I need to stop berating myself and apply more Gorilla Mindset Principles.

I laze around too much – I need to be constantly on the move.


I, you, we’ll take care of each and every one of them – in due time.


Each day we, together, will take another step forward towards a target which we’ve made our priority. And as we will fulfill our tasks, one by one, and the days will slowly pass us by like an old steamboat gliding through the calm river water we shall experience an evolution as it was meant by Nature.


We will change before our very eyes without realizing that we’ve changed.

New Year, Old Me, Better Me


New Year, Old You, Better You


New Year, Old Us, Better Us


Let’s get started!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

Dear friends, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.


The year 2016 has been an important one for me as I’ve finally mustered up the courage to open my own website and test my skills within this jungle we call the internet and see if I have what it takes to survive.


I feel fear.


But after reading a magnificent post from Mike Cernovich of Danger and Play about fear and how it can cause you to lose momentum I’ve decided to acknowledge my fear but forbid it to impede me on my journey.


Fear can be my companion but it can never be my adversary ever again.


I will simply not allow it.


How can I?


For after reading the Bible, I’ve become much calmer as a person.


Yes, I have, finally read it, and I have a confession to make.


A confession I do not wish to make days before we celebrate the birth of Christ but one I will have to make, lest I lie before one of the holiest of days.


It took me over 20 years to read the Bible.


In fact, I did not even read it.


I’ve listened to it.


I’ve listened to the King James Version of the Bible as read by David Cochran on Audible.


The Holy Bible (King James Version)
The Holy Bible (King James Version)


I feel ashamed.


All of my life I’ve received gifts on Christmas, ate like a pig on Easter, but I’ve never actually, earnestly, followed the way of a Christian.


I’ve sinned.


A lot.


  1. I did not always believe in the Lord.


  1. I worshipped graven images or likenesses as seen on television.


  1. I’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain.


  1. I did not remember the Sabbath day and almost never kept it Holy, unless forced by my parents.


  1. I did not always respect and honor my father and mother.


  1. I’ve never hurt anyone but there were times where my emotions wanted to take control over my judgment.


  1. I’ve never committed adultery though I lusted after women which were not mine.


  1. As a child I’ve stolen things, stupid things, which did not cost much but I wanted to prove myself in front of my friends.


  1. I did never bear false witness against my neighbor though sometimes I did want to when we were in conflict.


  1. I’ve coveted – too much for far too many things.


Lord, please forgive me.


It’s not a pleasant thing to write about your own faults but at the same time it is… cleansing.


The words act on my soul as droplets of ice-cold mountain water washing the dirt of my body.


I am the same and yet I feel like a new person.


I am neither a Bible-thumper nor a born again Christian.


I judge like all do, but I do not condemn.


As Mike Cernovich says: ‘You do you and I’ll do me.’


I do not even consider myself to be a true Christian for my beliefs are a mixture of Christianity, ancient philosophical schools such as stoicism (Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations and Cicero’s On Duties as translated by Quintus Curtius) and Eastern philosophy.


But I believe every Man and Woman should read the Bible at least once in their lifetimes, preferably multiple times at differing points in their lives, cover to cover, slowly, from Genesis to Revelations for it is a book that can, and will, help us navigate through our confusing World.


I will not get into pointless arguments with people who bash the Scriptures on principle for most of the time they have never actually read them or did but could not see the worldly wisdom contained within, especially the Proverbs of Solomon and the Ephesians.


As a Christmas gift I’d like to share with you my favorite Bible passages which I always remember during difficult times when I face daily challenges or challenging people.


If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31


Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7


Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Mark 11:23


Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9


This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14


The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. Luke 18:27


Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. Matthew 5:44


I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13


Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27


Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28


What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24


Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5


I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10


Confess your faults, one for another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16


The kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17:21


For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 11 Timothy 1:7

He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he. Proverbs 16:20

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. I Corinthians 2:9

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22


I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.


I care not what your world views are or your religion – all are welcome here, for I believe our destination is the same, just the paths we’ve taken to get there are different and it is our duty to help each other out.


But my site will operate based on respect and gentlemanly manners which means in order to be respected you will have to respect others and treat themselves like you would want to be treated yourself.


No exceptions.


Merry Christmas!

New World Ronin (Full Color Book Review)

Title: New World Ronin

Author: Victor Pride a.k.a. Nick Kelly
Genre: Mindset
Number of pages: 99
Time needed to read: a couple of hours
Price: 10,97 dollars (Kindle)
Verdict: from Black and White to Full Color


Editor’s note: read the New World Ronin Glossary for a better understanding and to whet your appetite for this energetic book.


New World Ronin is a book written by Victor Pride who is the Shogun of the empire called Bold and Determined.


As he was writing New World Ronin Victor Pride experienced something profound, something divine, something only a few Man experience and fewer even dare to.




Some have said that his writings have gotten stale.

Some have said that his writings have lost their mojo.

Some have said that his writings have lost their edge.

Some have said that his writings have had their inner fire extinguished.


Hell, even he, himself, has said that.


Not anymore.


Victor Pride has died.


Nick Kelly has been born.


Long live Nick Kelly.


New World Ronin - Nick Kelly
Victor Pride is dead – introducing Nick Kelly.

He cast away his former shell of a Ghost from the Black and White World in order to rise again from the ashes, like a beautiful Phoenix in Full Color gliding through the boundless sky filled with limitless energy and ready to take on and down any Dragon or Tiger in his way.




Yes, energy.


This is what I’ve felt as I was reading New World Ronin.


Raw, passionate energy.


This is Victor Pride in all his glory and what he was always meant to be – Nick Kelly.


It’s that kind of book which you pick up and then cannot put down for it invigorates you, lights a fire under your ass and makes you start moving.


It makes you get into motion.

You are either going forward or backward. There is no in-between.


The book is divided into fourteen chapters and an epilogue consisting of a note from Victor Pride a.k.a. Nick Kelly:


  1. Islands, The Game, The Way
  2. Jungle Journey
  3. Mission is Greatness
  4. Full Color Work vs. B&W Work
  5. War Room Rules
  6. Rules of Creation of Genius
  7. Respect the Gods
  8. Magic of Obsession
  9. Master of Destiny
  10. Business is War
  11. Soldiers of the Mission
  12. Magic of Purpose
  13. Magic of Momentum
  14. Get Right With the Gods


This is a Full Color Work of Art which is meant to be read multiple times.


Why? Because the language, whilst simple to understand, is laden with (Full)Colorful expressions and esoteric analogies which you can already discern by looking at the names of the chapters.


Islands, Jungle, Journey, Full Color versus Black and White, War Room, Genius, Gods, Obsession, Destiny, Ronin are words which are not often used, especially not when it comes to writing non-fictional work.


But the New World Ronin is both fiction as much as it is non-fiction – it blends the Black and White World with the World of Full Color into a beautiful Rainbow which’s grandeur you’ll only be able to appreciate by looking at it multiple times at various stages in your life from a variety of different locales.


You’ll read it as a Ghost but not understand it.


You’ll read it as a Ronin and apply it.


You’ll read it as a Shogun and teach it.



Nick Kelly teaches the fundamentals that all of us are constantly seeing, but we’ve never actually perceived them. As he would say it bluntly: ‘They were hidden in plain sight.’ The most important things you’ll learn are the importance of breathing and being always in Motion on the Way to achieve your Mission as a Ronin.


Not many of us think about breathing for we believe it to be a natural thing to do and yet it is the most important thing we’ll ever do for deprived of oxygen you are dead within a couple of minutes.


You believe you know how to breathe, correct?


But do you actually know how to breathe correctly?


Are you truly getting the maximum amount of oxygen within your body?


I thought so too.


Until I read New World Ronin.


As I was reading I repeatedly smacked myself on the forehead and exclaimed: ‘But of course! How the f*** did I not see that before?!’


Easy, because I was living in the Black and White World and the Colors were escaping me right in front of my eyes.


Not anymore.


I’ve started to move, vowing not to stop until the Gods far above decide that my time’s up. Only a living person is in Motion, a dead one lies motionless within his tracks. This is the Power of Motion.


An interesting paradox, truly, for the more you move, the more energy you have and the more you rest the less energy you have.


Remember Newton’s First Law of Motion: an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion.


But do not aimlessly chase after Destiny for she is a fickle mistress who despises weak Men and will punish them accordingly.


Chase, no, Hunt after your Mission and she will start chasing you instead.


Only by being constantly in Motion, doing each day one Step towards the completion of your Mission will you subdue Destiny and make her work for you and not against you.


What will you choose?


Stay in Motion or be at Rest?


Be alive or be dead?


Black and White or Full Color?


A Ghost or a Shogun?


The choice is yours to make.


Open the door or let it be shut forever.


And if you have enough courage, which I know you do; Nick Kelly’s New World Ronin will help you on your Way from the Islands, through the Jungle to become a Shogun, a Master of Destiny and let her lead you to the place where Gods reside.


There’s always an empty seat at their table for those scarred Men who lived a life of Full Color, have marched through Hellfire, wrestled with Tigers, never given up and have thus proven themselves to be worthy.


Follow Nick Kelly on Bold and Determined.

Follow Nick Kelly on Twitter.

Follow Nick Kelly on Instagram.

Listen to the Full Color Godcast.


New World Ronin
New World Ronin

This Is My Story

This is my story.


First, I would like to say thank you.


Thank you Daryush Valizadeh from Return of Kings and Roosh V, Quintus Curtius from Fortress of the Mind, the whole community from the Roosh V forum, Mike Cernovich from Danger and Play, Victor Pride from Bold and Determined and Christopher ‘Chris’ Deoudes from Good Looking Loser and GLL Get a Life.


Were it not for these Men, with their words on their sites I would not be posting today my very own first blog post.


And most importantly THANK YOU, dear reader, for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my very first blog post.


Honestly, I am scared.


Scared of the unknown. The internet is, frankly, a big place. It is a jungle filled with beauty and death at the same time. I do not know if what I am doing is right or even worth it.


Will people see what I write? Will they like it? Will they comment on what I have to say? Do I even have to say something worthwhile?


I do not know. Honestly, I don’t.


The only thing I do know is the fact that if I wish to find out is that I have to try.


I will have to expose myself, bleed onto the pages and let you be the judge of it.


Like Mike Cernovich said in one of his podcasts: ‘Buy the ticket and take the ride.’


I have really come to like this phrase. It is short and on point. You do not know jack until you actually try something out. Reading about it is one thing, talking about it another, but only doing is the real thing.


Your words hold no weight if you do not walk the walk as you do talk the talk.


And here I am. At the beginning of a journey. My journey.


I do not know where it will lead me or where I will end. But I do know that it is going to be an adventure, full of laughter and tears, courage and cowardice, hatred and love, passivity and passion… full of paradoxes.


If I make the first step that is. And I will. I want to, I have to.




This is my story… and I invite you to become a part of it.